That Bird With The Beak
by Atlas the Wise
Summary: Inspired by 'Aw What'. Welcome to TBWTB, where we will provide your commentary needs, discuss certain topics, and rant about stuff people like cause we don't care if they like it. Hosted by Mordecai as Angry Mordo. Today's Story: The Pilot. Also, a message to Smokescreen2814.


**Hello and welcome to a story I like to call 'That Bird With The Beak'. For those who know this reference good for you. For those who don't go fuck yourselves. Some of you may recognize from such works as 'The Paper' and... that's pretty much it. Anyway, I got this idea from the story 'Aw What?' so enjoy.**

_"I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. I kissed Margaret and CJ... I looked and saw CJ standing right there in complete utter shock. When her expression turned into one whose heartbroken my heart completely shattered. I couldn't believe I did that to her. I'm such an idiot. What was I thinking? Margaret and I... we were just reminiscing in the time we spent together then one thing led to another and... ugh! There's no explaining what happened, no defending thy self, no putting blame on someone because it was all on me. Let's face it Mordecai. You blew your chances with her but then again... ugh, it would never work plus it's destine to fail anyway. Probably pulling a Mordecai now but who cares. I just don't care anymore. I just don't care. To make matters worst, Margaret is back in town and as Eileen's roommate so she can finish her degree. Great, just great. This should end well. After finding that out from Eileen and she left (likely an excuse), I stared at Margaret with a vision of an uncertain future in mind. All I can say too that is that this is all going to end badly."_

"And cut!" said the producer. "That's fantastic people! Flip flappin' tastic! You've done a great job today. See you folks later and have a happy holiday." A loud beep went off and the set came apart with the set pieces being moved off and the camera crew and actors walking off set. _"Well.. that was intense."_

"Hey Mordecai!" A voice called out. Mordecai turned to discover it was Margaret. "Oh, hey Margaret."

"That was really intense, wasn't it." She said obviously pointing it out. "Yeah, it sure was." He replied followed by a nervous chuckle. "So do you want to come and hang out with me and Eileen later? Rigby should come along too if he wants. I know they've taken a liking too each other. It's pretty easy to catch." She said followed by a teasing tone. "Yeah, it is that easy." He agreed, chuckling. "Anyway, I can't. I'm hanging out with CJ." Mordecai said denying her invitation. "Oh. Alright... I guess I'll see you later then." Margaret said with much disappointment.

"Yeah, you too." He said before she walked off. _"I knew Margaret had feelings for me, but I'm with CJ now. I could've hooked up with her before, but that was long pass due now. Even then things were just too complicated back then even crazy and intense."_

"Gotcha!" A voice called out, grabbing him from behind before he could react. He let out a scream instead before the person who snatched him was revealed. "Dude, chillax! It's just me." CJ said. "CJ, don't do that!"

"I just wanted to surprise you."

"Just please don't do that again or at least warn me first."

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise. Jeese, what's ruffling up your feathers?" Without further question, from far away, CJ spotted a familiar red bird whose appearance can be mistaken sometimes for a human with the exact red hair leaving the set. "Oh... that's why." CJ discovered. "You know, I'd understand if you wanted to be with her."

"What? No! Of course not." Mordecai cried. "Really? Your body language says otherwise." CJ noted. "CJ, no. I don't want to be with her, I want to be with you." He declared. "I don't know Mordecai. Are you really sure? I've notice you've been acting stranger than usual ever since she came back."

"First off, really? Second of all, CJ don't you trust and have faith in me?"

"I do Mordecai, but i'm just concern about your well being."

"It's fine, okay. Don't worry about me."

"I still don't know..."

"Please..." Mordecai pleaded also bringing along his sweet innocent eyes and smile.

_"I know I should trust him with all my heart, but my brain at the same time is telling me to be concerned. However, looking into his sweet eyes and heartfelt smile, I just couldn't say no to his plead."_

"Alright, alright. I won't." Mordecai smiled, seeming victorious. He even states how he got her while in front of her which earned him a teasing playful punch to the arm. "Alright, if you're done gloating, let's go."

* * *

><p><em>"CJ had always been there for me after Margaret left the City and went to a college miles away from here. Ever since then, she had been good on me and I eventually grew attached to her. We'd played video games, hangout, and even go through crazy wild adventures. The results? Well, I think I'd be stating the obvious. Anyway, you probably want to know what we're up to now. Well we went to a local game store and knowing Rigby (along with him secretly spying on us), he tagged along. After entering the store, guess what's the first game we saw when we walked in? <em>"Ugh, Advanced Warfare, are you kidding me? Why do people keep buying these games?"

"Come on, dude." Rigby whined. "It's popular. That's why it sells well."

"Rigby, having the same copy and paste multi-player where everyone gets to be a commando does not mean it's that good." Mordecai stated. "This one's different though." Rigby stated. "How?" Mordecai asked. "It has jetpacks and Kevin Spacey?" Rigby providing a weak pitiful excuse. Now it's Mordecai's turn. "Okay, first off, really? Kevin Spacey? Second, they ripped the jet packs idea off from Titanfall."

"Okay, they did ripped it off." Rigby unfortunately agreed and what followed was another argument when it came to him, "However, at least the campaign is more fun than Titanfall's, I mean, it's just an online multiplayer with cinematics. This is just like Brink again."

"Brink?" Mordecai said puzzled. "What's Brink?"

"Exactly." Rigby concluded. The three then took off to browse the aisles and decide which ones are the most epic to the ones that are found at the bottom of the bargain bin. From Halo to Gears of War, The Last of Us to The Walking Dead (not the crappy FPS), Red Dead Redemption to GTA 5, Skyrim to Mass Effect, Dishonored to Thief (the latter being unsuperior to its previous installments with the former being a true spiritual successor to the series), Borderlands to Bioshock, Resident Evil to Alien: Isolation (guess which one has become more action focused), Assassin's Creed to Shadow of Mordor, etc... In the end, despite all these huge variety, they chosed the games. The three then bought the games to the counter. "Okay, what do we got today?" The clerk wondered. Mordecai was the first to go up and the clerk was dismayed about the selected title upon gazing at it. "Assassin's Creed: Rogue? Okay. Are you sure about this? This is for last gen."

"Yeah, why you asked?" Mordecai wondered. "It's just that this game is cool and all also being a sequel to Black Flag but what about Unity?"

"What about it?"

"Unity is definetly next gen, adding tons of new stuff while this game is mostly the same as its predecessor Black Flag. Why get an open seas game when there's an open world reconstructed Paris?"

"It's because... I just want this game instead." Mordecai said. "Whatever you say man. Still giving that recommendation."

_"The recommendation was nice and all, but the real reason I don't want it is because... it's boring, okay, it's just boring. Not only does it have a boring story, but its gameplay hasn't been refined since the last games causing a clunky mess. Adding to that are the bugs and glitches followed by the pointless micro-transaction. Real insult to injury and so lame. This is why I liked Black Flag better."_

"Here you go." The clerk said handing Mordecai the game after receiving the payment. Now, next up was CJ and the reaction the clerk gets was at least better than his last one. "Far Cry 4, huh? Nice choice."

"I just thought it looked fun." CJ simply answered then proceeded to hand over the money. Finally, it was Rigby and boy is the clerk going to get a few kicks out of this. "Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare? You got to be kidding me?"

"Hey, if you're going to make fun of me..."

"Not making fun of you, dude." The clerk said interrupting him and rendering Rigby confused, "You're not going to make fun of me, why?"

"Well one, I actually thought it was at least fun this time compared to its previous installment. Jeese, that last story was bad. The only character I liked in that was the dog."

"Agreed."

"Two," The clerk continued. "I got bored of trolling 12 year olds."

"Really?" Rigby said in an unimpressed voice calling the guy out for doing such a thing. "Hey, couldn't help it." He defended. "Anyway, here's your game." Rigby then proceeded to pay the game after it was handed back. The three afterwards left the store just a few seconds before closing time. The clerk soon followed and proceeded to close up the now empty store and leave for home.

"Whelp, see you tomorrow old girl. Hopefully, something exciting will happen. I swear, nothing ever happens here and I swear to god that there is no immediate explosion or fore-" The man is cut off mid-sentence as a magically blue portal appears apparently ready to burst. "Oh gre-" The man is blew back by the powerful mystical portal taking along with it half of the store and knocking the man out. All the while as he laid there, two mysterious figures came out from the rubble with one sporting a sort of reddish type armor whilst the other had some kind of gold?

"Hey! My armor is maroon." The maroon armor guy said. "Hey don't argue with the narrator or whatever it/he/she is." The gold armor guy said.

"Man, you just like it because you can't face the facts that your armor is really orange." The maroon armor guy calling his apparent friend out. "No, it's not orange. It's gold." The orange guy denied and argued and so came the bickering that goes back and forth, back and forth- man fuck this. Lightning came down causing both of them to be taken by surprise.

"Dude, what the heck?!" The maroon guy said angered. "Yeah, what's your deal?" The orange guy calling me out for the random lightning. This is where I told them that we need to get along with the story and if they continue to argue, I'll send them straight back to this sort of weird web original Halo show starring the Reds and the Blues. "Fine. What do you want us to do?" Simmons asked. However, this is where the story ends for now.

"What?! You're ending it here right now?! You have time to build more for this chapter, not split it up into two parts or more." Grif stated and then he got struck by lightning.

**And that was the story. Don't forgot to leave feedback or reviews and don't forget to favorite and follow this story. Man, this feels like Youtube. Also, for those of you who want more humor in this story, don't worry, there's going to be more humor in the later chapters. Anyway, here are some notes.**

**Brink: This game was an interesting concept that has gone to waste due to having a story that's barely there, poor gameplay and a whole bunch of bugs and glitches that has been possibly resolved by the developers. Oh, and the publishers of this title was Bethesda, the ones behind Fallout and Elder Scrolls. Man, they fucked up or probably the director of that game.**

**Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare: Okay, I actually heard this game was fun and put down the pitchforks. If you want to raise your pitchforks and riot do it at EA. The campaign is predictable and generic but I actually heard is that it's at least a fun or satisfying single player when compared to Call of Duty: Ghost. Also, for those of you that like flaming COD because it's fun just quit it because you're wasting time anyway because it's never going to change anyway. Besides, Battlefield's single play campaigns starting from Battlefield 3 has sucked. When you also look deeper past the generic Hollywood action story, the stories might also be considered anti-war minus the newest title not helping the fact that the games starting from Modern Warfare felt like Black Hawk Down (minus the newest title). If you want to know more about this, go view the Jimquisition and look up the COD videos.**

**Titanfall: Okay, the story sucked compared to Brink which is probably scary. Other than that, it has a fun multi-player which is probably a ghost town now considering no one seems to mention that game anymore.**

**Thief and Dishonored: Simply put, get Dishonored if you want to feel a bit or some of the original Thief installments made by Looking Glass Studios. Dishonored is still way better than the reboot Thief. Dishonored has more open world, more freedom of choice and more control giving to the player not to mention that the chaos system and setting are more fantastic than the so called 'Thief'. I never got the actual game, but I got the demo and in conclusion I still liked Dishonored. The gameplay is to restrictive and takes away control from the player for a moment making feel like you don't feel you're part of the game. One example is when I try to leap down, I needed to press another button to go down. When I got to the next one, I can just go down without pressing the button. What the heck? The other example is the immersion and that doesn't work well considering the controls are taken away from you for a brief moment making it feel too much cinematic with the camera focused on things such as closing the doors and taking an object rather than focusing on the PC (player character). There's also a revolution going on but its so small due to the hub area that it doesn't have a big impact on the player. Finally are the freedom of choice and open world. This game felt more linear than open world and the so called 'freedom of choice' feel too lay out there for you showing the obvious and just feel too scripted. If you want to know more of the cons, watch Zero Punctuation's review on this game and who's also a fan of the Thief games.**

**Assassin's Creed Unity: The game is boring. If you get the Assassin's Creed Xbox One bundle, play Black Flags first and then get ready for the head banging on Unity. Rogue I heard has a better story which possibly means last gen did better than next gen in this case. Ubisoft, do something about this or you risk turning the franchise into a cash cow.**

**As for Far Cry 4, didn't get it yet, however, I heard good things from it.**

**Finally, why i made this story is a response to Smokescreen's story. The messsage of this story here is that your story fails at providing discussion and being clever. You're not providing a discussion, admit it. You're just writing a blog focused on rants and the most stupidest of things. Sure, you provide some good points but too bad it's covered up by the absolutely horrid tone of the writing making it look like a 12 year old is trying to be smart when really he's got nothing on it so ha! If you want a real discussion along with a story that focuses on parody while still maintaining a plot (kinda like South Park simply put), then look this up.**


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